Interacting with members of the Greatness community brings me immense joy. Whether at my event known as the Summit of Greatness, during book launches, or at various gatherings, my favorite aspect is embracing everyone. I strongly believe in the importance of connection, loving others, and being present. It not only ensures they feel valued, but it also nourishes my spirit.
However, this wasn’t always my outlook while I was growing up. As an athlete, the focus was on overpowering the competition, not on fostering love. I struggled with communication, so when I launched the School of Greatness podcast, I had to consciously learn how to be attentive during conversations. It felt daunting as I no longer had sports to cover up my vulnerabilities.
When I welcomed Glennon Doyle back onto the podcast for a second time, we explored themes from her memoir, Love Warrior, where she shared some incredible insights that clarified many things for me.
In our dialogue, we touched upon the concept of love—love within marriage, love amidst struggles with addiction, and love as a whole. She candidly discussed her own challenges with love and how reaching her lowest point ultimately proved to be the most beneficial for her and her relationship. What struck me profoundly was her commentary on the differing ways men and women perceive and express love.
Women often express love through their emotions and intellect. If you’ve ever had a relationship with a woman—whether as a partner, a mother, a sister, or a friend—you may have noticed that many find fulfillment in engaging in profound discussions. This is their way of conveying love. Glennon highlighted an important issue: girls are raised to believe their bodies are to be surrendered, rather than treasured, which leads to discomfort with physical expressions of love.
Men, on the other hand, have a different approach to love, primarily expressing it through physicality. As someone who grew up in athletics, I always absorbed the societal view that showing vulnerability equated to weakness. We lack guidance on articulating our feelings, which is a significant issue I address in my book, The Mask of Masculinity. In this book, I discuss the various masks men wear to steer clear of intimate discussions and vulnerability, ranging from the stoic persona to the hypersexual. Many men sidestep these conversations with their partners, parents, and friends.
Women can sometimes feel uneasy about physical closeness, while men may feel intimidated by profound dialogues. With the contrasting ways men and women view love, challenges arise. And this isn’t limited to romantic contexts. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.
As Glennon states, “Love is about relentlessly showing up.” I find this notion immensely powerful because it transcends love itself; it applies to life and business as well. Simply showing up could entail being honest and making every effort necessary. When you consistently show up, you might find that the other individual does the same.
Consider this thought-provoking question: How can you better support your partner and friends?
For Glennon, she discovered that during the most challenging times in life and love, her commitment to going the extra mile proved most beneficial. She recognized this in others, too, which ultimately contributed to her personal growth and fulfillment. She refers to this as embodying the spirit of a love warrior.
Life and love demand effort and dedication.
During difficult times, Glennon’s sister, Amanda, urged her to pursue her aspiration of becoming a writer. This encouragement led her to commit to daily writing, eventually birthing her blog, Momastery. She began sharing her vulnerabilities and fears with other women, and the support and narratives she received were transformative.
Years later, as her marriage faced turmoil and both she and her husband engaged in therapy to salvage it, writing became her outlet once more. Through this journey—and by discovering new ways to communicate in her marriage—Glennon fostered a completely new type of relationship with her husband, family, and herself.
I have always admired Glennon’s stance as a “love warrior,” choosing to show up even during tough times and sharing her story with authenticity. This type of example inspires me to summon the courage to emulate that in my own life.
The outcome of this mindset has been the realization that showing up is indeed worthwhile.
