Generally speaking, there is a notable consensus regarding the three components, factors, or measurements of success. Almost everyone would include personal growth and health, career advancements and achievements, as well as relationships and family, although our interpretations of these three aspects may vary slightly.
For instance, some might highlight spirituality as a significant aspect of personal growth, while others might prioritize service and philanthropy among their accomplishments. However, the main takeaway is that most individuals concur there are three primary categories in which we strive for success. Much like the sides of a triangle, these elements are interconnected; each one supports and influences the others.
Achieving success in just one of the three areas presents a flat, one-dimensional experience. We have all witnessed the superficiality of wealth devoid of health and family bonds. Even achieving success in two of the three domains can feel lacking in substance, as seen in individuals who appear to have everything in life yet lack meaningful companionship.
Interestingly, when people are asked to rank these three domains by their importance, a large number would likely prioritize them as follows:
- Relationships and family
- Personal growth and health
- Career advancements and achievements
However, when inquiring about the distribution of time and mental energy spent on each area, respondents often present a reversed list:
- Career advancements and achievements
- Personal growth and health
- Relationships and family
This raises the question: is there a disconnect between our beliefs and our actions? Is there a disparity between what we deem important and where we invest our effort? Are we sacrificing the most crucial aspect in favor of the least?
To better understand which of the three areas holds the most weight, reflect on a few additional questions:
- How long can each of these persist? (Achievements are often fleeting, while relationships can endure a lifetime.)
- How challenging is it to recover if lost? (Rebuilding a stalled career can be easier than mending fractured marriages or families.)
- What duration do we have for each? (Our children are part of our lives for approximately one-fourth of our existence.)
C.S. Lewis referred to homemaking as the “ultimate career” and asserted, “All other careers exist for one purpose only—and that is to support the ultimate career.” It’s easy to reverse this perspective and begin viewing family as a supporting entity (or sometimes an obstacle) to our professional pursuits.
I believe there are two primary reasons we disproportionately prioritize achievements over relationships. The first is recognition. There tends to be less accolade and recognition bestowed on our relationships compared to our accomplishments. Having a wonderful marriage, raising great children, or being a faithful friend may earn us occasional compliments, but they do not offer the broad acknowledgment that managing a company or securing a significant promotion does.
The second reason is even more fundamental and critical. We lack extensive knowledge on cultivating strong relationships, marriages, and families compared to our understanding of excelling in our careers. Parenting does not come with an MBA. Our objectives in our professions and finances tend to be clearer than those in our personal lives.
The first step in addressing this imbalance is to acknowledge it. Make a deliberate commitment to give precedence to relationships and family. Remind yourself that your career should support your family, not the other way around. Establish straightforward goals each week focused on your most significant relationships. Carve out time to disconnect not only from your phone and computer but also from the achievement-oriented mindset to fully engage with the people you cherish.
The next step involves enhancing your ability to manage your relationships and achieve life balance. Elevate this to the forefront of your personal growth and development initiatives. Seek opportunities for relationship-building education. You can prioritize people over material achievements without compromising your professional success.
By doing this, you will be set on the path toward attaining a three-dimensional success—the only genuine success.
