Hello, neuroscience enthusiasts—yes, you in the lab coats and wiring. Where are the research papers on how walking enhances relationships? Why is a leisurely stroll together as beneficial for romance, family connections, and friendships as it is for fitness and sneaker sales? Despite my efforts to find these studies online, I’ve come up empty. But that’s alright. Over the years, I’ve formulated my own hypotheses on why walking is the ultimate activity for human connection since the simple act of smiling:
1. Walks enhance relationships by demonstrating care.
Dinning out with someone might simply mean you’re hungry. A movie? Perhaps you’re infatuated with a celebrity. However, asking a friend or loved one to join you for a walk signifies that you genuinely wish to spend quality time with them. I’ll always remember one afternoon back in the mid-1980s when my friend Bill suggested we stroll through our college town in New Jersey so I could purchase yarn. He had no interest in yarn itself—which confirmed to me that he was, without a doubt, interested in me. (And yes, he is the same Bill I married.)
2. Walking is simple.
Unlike engaging in sports, walking requires no special gear (other than shoes), no scores to monitor, and no need to book courts or tee times. Meeting for lunch often involves perusing menus and trying to flag down waitstaff. You can decide to walk on a whim, and if you’re like my friends and me, you’ll choose paths with minimal street crossings—so simple you could almost navigate them blindfolded. With the occasional need to step aside for obstacles, you can concentrate solely on one another.
3. Walks promote open conversation.
Some of my most memorable conversations with my father and brother occurred during walks. Being out and about without my chatty mother means we can’t linger and let her take the lead in conversation as we usually do. I also think the boost in oxygen we get from outdoor exercise stimulates our ability to express ourselves.
4. Walking truly encourages kids to share.
Try asking your kids, “How was your day?” while sitting indoors. Then pose the same question during a leisurely walk outside. Which situation yields fewer “I don’t knows” and more stories about school drama and sports politics? I assure you, the walking context wins. After all, while walking, your children can’t zone out with a book or a game of Angry Birds (at least not if you successfully persuade them, as I usually do, that walking and screen time don’t mix).
5. Walking is, in its own modest way, a method of travel.
We all recognize that going on a vacation together can strengthen a bond—provided you agree on the destination and what to spend on, and there are no major disputes over something trivial. (No, Mom, I’m not referencing that particular incident in Boston.) An ordinary walk entails minimal negotiation and no cost. It’s just two individuals relishing numerous benefits of a shared getaway—captivating sights and sounds, and the creation of collective memories—allowing both to retire to their own non-odorous homes at the end.
6. Walks foster dialogue opportunities.
Whether you’re out with a new acquaintance or your partner of two decades (perhaps particularly your partner of two decades), there are bound to be moments of uncomfortable silence. This is where that person approaching you—the one who both of you agree resembles a blend of John Boehner and the Pillsbury Doughboy—comes into play.
7. Walking provides a chance to vent together.
Every few months, Bill and I embark on what we fondly label a “b*#!$*%’s walk” (rhymes with “blasted walk”). As you might imagine, this isn’t about praising someone who’s been delightful to deal with. It’s both therapeutic for us at that moment, and I’m certain it benefits our relationship overall by reducing the need for sulking at home.
8. Walking allows your kids to vent to each other about how mean you are.
Admit it: They require this—but you likely don’t wish to eavesdrop. So, after a recent family squabble, when my son and daughter casually mentioned they’d take a quick stroll together, I said sure, that’s wonderful, just be mindful of traffic.
And there you go, researchers—my argument for how walking enhances relationships. Just keep in mind: When you receive a Nobel Prize for validating my hypotheses (which I’m certain you’re eager to do), I expect a share.
