Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to initiate a change, only to find it impossible to get everyone aligned, no matter how much effort you put in?
- “I’ve mentioned to my new colleague twice that we need to reach out to each customer separately regarding our new offerings. To my surprise, she still hasn’t made a single call!”
- “I clarified to my team that we are transitioning all of our products to the online space, which will impact our priorities and workflows—it’s a complete overhaul! Yet the very next day, they reverted back to their usual routines, as if our discussion had never occurred!”
- “My friend often shows up late. We once again missed a crucial meeting together. I told him he needed to be punctual. He completely agreed and apologized. But today, he arrived late once more.”
Does this sound familiar?
Your colleagues, boss, team, customers, sibling, friend, and community group each have their own set of priorities and values. You aim to instigate a change, yet, despite your earnest attempts, there seems to be no advancement.
Why does this happen? And what actions can you take? The straightforward response: It varies. However, it’s essential to identify the root cause of the obstacle.
Skills or motivation?
As my colleague at PeopleResults, Kirsten Jordan, frequently emphasizes: “Skills + Motivation = Behavior Change.”
Recognizing whether the resistance stems from inadequate skills or a lack of motivation will dictate how you can effectively drive behavior change, whether it’s in how tasks are performed, enhancing performance, or even improving relationship dynamics.
For instance: You want your sales team to boost sales of the new services. However, selling a familiar product seems simpler since they are well-acquainted with it, while the new offerings remain a mystery to them. They are not equipped to make that transition.
Similarly, after receiving a poor grade in calculus, you might give your son an enthusiastic talk on the importance of success, peppered with anecdotes from your own high school experiences. However, he could still be up late, grappling with math problems that just don’t make sense to him. For him, it’s not a lack of motivation.
Let’s examine skills and motivation more closely.
Is a lack of skills hindering change?
Skills refer to the capability to perform a task proficiently.
The core questions in any behavior modification initiative are: “Do they know how to execute what is required? Do they possess the knowledge and experience necessary to acquire the skills needed?”
Another crucial pair of questions is: “What is necessary for them to gain the skills they require? How significant is the gap?” The solution might involve training, online courses, or having a mentor or coach work with them for a limited period.
In some instances, however, the gap could prove to be insurmountable.
An accountant may smoothly transition into financial planning, as it draws on several core skills. However, that same accountant might find themselves lost when tasked with creating a new brand campaign, as these skills are entirely distinct.
One of my clients recently transformed her team from being behind-the-scenes experts and process managers to ones that engage more directly with clients. Her team now needs to establish relationships, manage expectations, and prioritize based on client objectives rather than merely overseeing their own tasks. This transition is a substantial shift. Ultimately, she recognized that for some, the gap was too wide to bridge. The necessary skill development might either consume too much time or, in certain cases, might be unachievable.
The student who is diligently working yet struggling with calculus requires more than just motivational encouragement from his parent. He needs tutoring or additional time with his instructor to acquire the tools and guidance necessary to enhance his skills because motivation alone isn’t enough for his success in the course.
Or is it a lack of motivation?
Motivation is deeply personal, yet our instinct is often to inspire others based on our own values and what we find important.
Those who thrive on competition and revel in victory believe they’ve unlocked the secret to motivation: winning! They’ve discovered something about their own motivations, but it’s essential to understand that others may find competition demotivating and choose to disengage entirely.
To motivate someone else, you must tap into their individual values and what resonates with them. In essence, you cannot effectively inspire someone unless you first grasp their personal viewpoints or common themes within the group.
Dan Ariely, the James B. Duke professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University, “provides evidence that we are also inspired by the significance of our endeavors, acknowledgment from others, and the effort we’ve invested: the more challenging a task, the more pride we take in it.” Still, these elements can vary when applied to individuals or smaller groups.
When aiming to motivate others, prioritize understanding what holds value for them. Regardless of your influence or persuasion skills, they won’t bear fruit unless you connect with what others deem significant.
Ultimately, motivation is a personal choice. All you can do is influence. Changing the habits of a perennially late friend isn’t solely your responsibility.
Choosing your strategy for instigating change
Do thorough research if you want to effect a change in behavior. Step out of your perspective and see things through someone else’s eyes. This shift in perspective is critical in identifying actions that can create a meaningful impact.
Here are fundamental questions to reflect on before you initiate a change that necessitates others altering their behavior:
- Do they possess the required skills to enact change?
- What methods can facilitate their skill development? Is it feasible to develop them within the given timeframe?
- Are they driven to change?
- What is most important to them?
- How does this change align with their values, concerns, and priorities?
- What role can I assume to support this behavioral change? How can others contribute?
- Are they willing to embrace change?
And most crucially: Is the gap due to a lack of skills or a shortfall in motivation?
Understanding this distinction is the key to influencing behavior change within your workplace, family, community, and relationships.
