Unpacking guilt can be a complicated and time-consuming process. It is understandable that we may feel guilty for past actions when we did not know better or if we were different people at the time. Sometimes, guilt can arise from things we have not done or from positive aspects of our lives, such as financial success or promotions. Achieving success can come with many benefits, but it can also lead to feelings of guilt for those who have not achieved the same level of success.
Understand your guilt.
Identifying the type of guilt you are experiencing is a good starting point. Guilt should serve as a moral compass when you have wronged someone, indicating the need for an apology or amends. However, guilt can become clouded by other emotions like grief, fear, or anger, making it challenging to unravel. Excessive guilt could indicate trauma and misplaced emotions.
Regarding guilt related to success, one may feel undeserving or unworthy of their accomplishments or attribute it to luck. While luck may have played a part, hard work likely contributed to the success as well.
Discrediting your achievements does not benefit anyone; it only diminishes your own sense of accomplishment. Working through feelings of guilt takes time and emotional energy, so it is important to allow yourself space for this process. Consider the following ideas to help unpack your guilt and move forward.
Define your success.
Success is often equated with financial wealth in our society, but it can be defined in various ways. While financial success is commendable, success extends beyond monetary achievements, and there are diverse paths to success.
Many professions are undervalued, reflecting societal values rather than individual worth. Comparing your success to that of others could lead to resentment or envy. Reflect on what success means to you and why you feel guilty about it by considering the following questions:
- Do childhood memories or images come to mind when you think of success?
- What messages about successful people did you receive from your family as a child?
- How do you envision success in your life?
- What would make success a positive experience for you?
- How do you want your children to perceive success (if applicable)?
Don’t equate your self-worth to financial value.
Remember that your value is not determined by your financial status. Stay grounded in your self-worth, especially in the presence of individuals who make remarks about money or success that affect your self-perception.
If such comments make you feel inferior, consider distancing yourself from those individuals to gain clarity on your financial situation, accomplishments, and associated feelings.
Seek assistance.
Sorting through feelings of guilt, shame, and fear can be complex and may require the help of a professional counselor, therapist, or trusted mentor. While it may be tempting to address these feelings independently, seeking guidance can aid in dissipating these emotions and gaining clarity.
Discussing your feelings with a trusted advisor can provide perspective and facilitate emotional processing. Working with a trained therapist can streamline the process of unpacking these challenging emotions.
Keep progressing onwards.
Navigating and addressing feelings of guilt can be draining but ultimately rewarding as it allows for personal growth and clarity. While everyone has regrets, it is essential to differentiate between guilt that necessitates accountability and apologies versus unfounded guilt. Establishing boundaries and moving forward can lead to further success and fulfillment in life.
