Do you find yourself immobilized by fear? Many entrepreneurs, business owners, and salespeople dread hearing the word no. This is understandable, as our earliest memories often involve being told, “No! You can’t have the cookie.” or “No! You can’t go outside right now.” We are conditioned from a young age to fear rejection.
However, if you cannot overcome your aversion to the word no, you will struggle to achieve your goals. A colleague of mine once said, “Get out on the skinny branches.” He compared success to venturing out onto the thin branches of a tree. “Courage is the most important trait for success,” he emphasized. Top achievers take risks. They develop strategies to confront rejection and understand that failure is a stepping stone to success.
Over the years, I have developed techniques to confront my fears and nurture courage in situations where I believed I had none. Here are five strategies that have proven effective for me.
1. Let the word no fuel you.
Consider the achievements of our heroes, successful entrepreneurs, and thought leaders. I guarantee that they have all faced significant opposition. Once you realize this, you can do it too.
- J.K. Rowling faced rejection from numerous publishers before the Harry Potter series was accepted by a small London publishing house—all because her 8-year-old daughter insisted that Rowling continue submitting her manuscript.
- Decca Records famously told the Beatles, “We don’t like the sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”
- In the Black’s Law Dictionary, 3rd edition (published before 1969), the definition of commercial impossibility was “a trip to the moon.”
Courage is the quality that allows individuals to navigate through rejection and emerge stronger. No one escapes pain, hardship, and failure. However, from pain comes courage, and from courage comes strength and success.
2. Take massive action.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”—Nelson Mandela
- The call you’re hesitant to make is the call you must make.
- The question you’re afraid to ask is the question you must ask.
- The conversation you fear most, you must have.
Try it now. Make a list of the 10 people you are most afraid or embarrassed to contact. The significant accounts, the ones you’re hesitant to call, the intimidating ones. That’s the easy part. The challenging but rewarding part comes next. Reach out to those individuals, pick up the phone, knock on the door, and go after what you want.
3. Confront your fears.
We all have fears, and I am no exception. However, when I identify my fears and ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I feel less afraid. In reality, the worst-case scenario is feeling embarrassed or inadequate—which is not as bad as failing to pursue what I desire.
When you are afraid, the best course of action is to take a risk, be bold, and confide in a friend or mentor about your greatest fears.
Here are mine:
- I’ll never be as good as [fill in the blank: my mother, my brother, my colleagues, my competitors].
- I truly don’t know what I’m doing; I’m in over my head.
- I won’t have any new ideas to contribute.
- I’m past my prime.
- People will mock me.
- My existence won’t make a difference.
That was challenging. But I feel better now, and you will too if you give it a try. Take a moment to note down your biggest fears. What’s the worst-case scenario if …?
4. Navigate the no.
Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. By enhancing your skills, you bolster your courage.
In every stage of business, you will encounter rejections:
- Prospecting: CEOs, lenders, or potential candidates ignore your calls. Your emails go unanswered, and individuals who promise to get back to you vanish like magicians.
- During negotiation: Their arms are folded, their attention captured by their iPhone, and they suddenly need to leave for an urgent meeting.
- Objections: They outline a litany of issues: why the competition is superior, your product is overpriced, and your customer service is abysmal.
The following strategies are effective when faced with rejection.
- Listen attentively before responding. Refrain from becoming defensive. Take a breath. Allow the other person to express their thoughts. Then ask yourself, “Is this a deal-breaker?” Many objections are valid; the other party simply requires more information. Some objections test whether you will honestly address their concerns.
- Respond to a question with a question. Listen carefully and clarify their rejection with a question. This is an incredibly effective method for reducing ambiguity. Remember, questions often conceal objections.
- Recognize when to address a rejection head-on. Have you experienced this scenario before? They pose question after question, concern after concern. It feels like an onslaught of rejections. Don’t give up. Instead, ask a question that pinpoints their concern and listen attentively to the response.
5. Use humor.
When negotiating, recruiting, or presenting, “No” does not always signify an absolute refusal. It requires persistence and courage to attain your objectives. When faced with rejection, find a way around, through, or over it to close the deal, secure the agreement, or surpass your competition.
Ordinary entrepreneurs might say things like, “I left a message, and he didn’t return the call… I sent an email but received no response… She must not be interested.” In today’s fast-paced world, individuals are busier than ever and bombarded with information. If their initial response is no, it may not be that they are disinterested; it could be that your priority is not their priority until you make it so. Surprise them! Continuously pitching to someone with the same message in the same manner is the last thing you want to do. Try something innovative.
For instance, I secured one of my most significant contracts to date by sending a pizza and a poem to a busy executive who continually ignored my calls. His assistant repeatedly informed me, “He’s in a meeting.” I thought, “This poor man is always in a meeting. He probably never takes a break for a walk or leaves for lunch.” I doubted if he even ate!
“Has he had lunch yet?” I inquired with his assistant.
“No,” she replied.
“What’s the best pizza place nearby?” I asked further.
“Pauli’s, just down the street,” she replied.
“Excellent,” I responded. “I will order a pizza for Simon and have it delivered to the office. I’ll order enough for everyone. Oh, and I’ll fax a poem to you. Would you mind attaching it to the pizza box before you deliver it to him?” She chuckled and complied with my request. The poem read:
Is it sunny or is it raining?
The weather’s always good with online training.
I know you’re swamped with business and banking.
But isn’t it time for some real franking?
Imagine the boost in sales it will bring.
The consistent messaging that makes your heart sing.
So once you’ve polished off that last pepperoni,
Pick up the phone and call me to make some money!
Did I receive a response? You bet! I received a call within 90 minutes. It turned into a massive deal.
Courage is not something that happens to you; it emanates from your actions. Courage must be honed. If you wait for fear to dissipate before taking action, you may never find the inspiration you seek.
