Negotiating can feel overwhelming, whether you’re a CEO aiming to finalize a deal for your Fortune 500 company, a junior regional manager seeking a raise, or a YouEconomy member trying to boost profit margins.
Running a business often involves balancing standing firm on the value of your time and skills with the risk of losing a client. Sometimes the stakes seem high, but often they’re just in our minds.
So why don’t we ask for more money more frequently?
In a study involving 78 graduate students, Linda Babcock, co-author of Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide, discovered that only 12.5 percent of women negotiated their starting salary, compared to 52 percent of men. The main reason: Women are often hesitant about damaging relationships or being perceived as too aggressive. In her bestselling book Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg referenced research indicating that women who negotiate higher salaries are viewed as “more difficult to work with”—highlighting society’s enduring adherence to traditional stereotypes.
A study in 2014 encompassing 4,600 employees in Australia revealed that the issue is not women asking for raises, but rather that they are 25 percent less likely to receive them. Additionally, 15 percent of participants, both men and women, admitted hesitance in seeking a raise, fearing relationship tensions.
In her latest book, That’s What She Said, Joanne Lipman suggests that the overlooked reality is women’s inherent differences. Women often undervalue themselves and struggle to recognize their worth. When they do appreciate their value, they are frequently labeled as bossy and uncompromising.
“Men and women have different wiring,” Lipman explains. “Women tend to undervalue their contributions from birth.”
So, is the answer rooted in societal norms, personal fears, or biological predispositions? Like most complex issues, the cause likely involves a combination of factors. For you, this means taking proactive steps to counteract factors within your control. Whether you’re negotiating your initial salary or handling contract renewals with multiple vendors, knowing when and how to negotiate for more money is crucial. Here are some tips to help you get started.
1. Start Fresh.
Don’t base your money negotiations on past figures. Your previous salary or negotiation amount may not align with your current worth.
2. Be Ready.
This is not the time for impromptu discussions. Schedule the meeting well in advance to allow ample time for preparation, including compiling evidence supporting your request. This evidence can include quantifiable achievements and recommendations.
3. Own Your Worth.
Show confidence in your abilities. If you secured a major client last year, don’t say “we.” Also, avoid using language that downplays your achievements. You didn’t land “just” 16 new clients or increase efficiency by only about 5 percent.
4. Visualize Success.
Your thoughts and self-talk matter. Before your negotiation, create a mental picture of the scenario. Envision your attire, surroundings, and dialogue. Anticipate potential responses and prepare your reactions. Most importantly, envision yourself succeeding. Write down your successful negotiation in the present tense. For example, “I earn 12 percent more than when I started at this company one year ago.” Putting the goal in writing primes your brain to focus on achieving it.
I’ve always had to ask for more money. The cost of doing business rarely goes down; it always goes up. When I was 8 years old, my mom said we needed to raise the price of the melons, and I just did it. I walked into the produce department and looked around. They were nearly sold out of cantaloupes, so I took advantage of the moment. I told the produce manager that our melons were really fresh and worth paying a little extra for. Then I suggested that not only he pay…
