One particularly intriguing aspect of human nature is our capacity to identify shortcomings in others that we fail to acknowledge in ourselves.
Therefore, I appreciated it when a friend reached out last week to point out that some of my recent behaviors might come off as prideful.
I arrived late to a meeting, and at first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. However, upon reflection, I recognized that I ought to have offered a much more sincere apology and, more importantly, made an effort to be punctual.
I took some time for introspection to better comprehend my mistakes and how to avoid repeating them. While I understand that sometimes our actions can be misunderstood, I prefer to take a proactive approach. While it’s impossible to cater to everyone’s expectations, it’s crucial for us as leaders to set a positive example for those we lead.
Bishop T.D. Jakes emphasized that everything begins with humility, and he is absolutely correct. The ability to engage in discussions about differing opinions without feeling personally attacked is fundamental for significant personal growth. If we as leaders cannot do this, it may reveal a sense of superiority that is detrimental.
I certainly don’t want my team to perceive me as someone who looks down on them. However, I recognize that this could unintentionally occur. Here are some essential points to monitor to avoid developing a superiority complex:
1. You’re not superior.
Never assume that you are above anyone else. There’s something to learn from everyone if you pay close attention. We are all human, and therefore, we experience similar emotions and challenges. Each of us excels in some areas and struggles in others.
2. You require feedback.
Don’t presume that you’re beyond needing feedback for personal growth. There’s always potential for improvement. Critique is essential for champions. Be prepared for others to share their opinions on what you might do differently. Ensure you have a clear set of values so that you understand what matters most to you and what you should continuously work on to enhance yourself.
3. No one is obligated to admire you.
No one should feel pressured to respect you. If they do, make sure to treat them with kindness. Seeking admiration should not be your priority.
4. It’s your responsibility, not theirs.
Avoid presuming that people have incorrect perceptions of you. Consider that you might be approaching situations with less ego and more humility.
5. Make time to listen.
If you don’t actively engage with others, you risk coming across as self-absorbed and arrogant. Always invest time in conversations and maintain eye contact. This is especially important when you’re in a crowded space. I strive to acknowledge as many individuals as I can when I’m present. If you encounter me in person, you’ll notice that I make an effort to engage you and look you in the eye because I recognize your presence and value you in that moment.
6. Make an appearance.
Make a point to attend your meetings punctually. Not showing up on time can lead others to believe you regard yourself as too important for them. My schedule is often quite hectic, so this is an area I’m actively working to improve. Disregarding others’ time can lead them to feel disrespected.
Remember, it’s entirely acceptable for others to provide criticism. It’s an essential element of our growth.
Reflect on your persona and the impact of your actions on those around you. After undergoing this introspective process, I acknowledged my missteps and made adjustments swiftly.
Exhibiting superiority or other traits associated with a superiority complex often stems from a desire to conceal feelings of inadequacy. To some degree, we all possess pride and ego. However, as leaders, it is essential to regulate these aspects of ourselves and to remain mindful of our behaviors and our interactions with others.
