Have you ever faced challenges when collaborating with individuals who didn’t contribute as part of the team? Perhaps they ignored suggestions, scorned feedback, acted haughtily, or even neglected their responsibilities on a project?
Consider these vexing scenarios:
• My supervisor drives me up the wall. He closely monitors every detail and prevents me from working independently. It feels like I’m treated like a child.
• My coworker takes ages to submit her portion of the project. And once she does, she always insists on altering things, disrupting what I’ve already put effort into.
• I can’t bear working alongside him. He genuinely believes that his ideas are the only viable ones.
These infuriating individuals are often perfectionists. You might assume that a perfectionist is merely someone who prefers organization and order, but it entails far more.
A perfectionist views situations in black-and-white: a presentation is either flawless or it’s deemed a failure. There exists a singular correct way to accomplish something, and all other methods are deemed wrong. You either appreciate my work or you detest it. If I can’t achieve it flawlessly, then why even attempt it?
This mindset results in not only frustration but also significant harm—both for the perfectionist and those collaborating with them. Just one perfectionist in a workplace can result in strained relations, feelings of depression, heightened stress, reduced effectiveness, diminished profits, and even business failures.
While it masquerades as a pursuit of “excellence,” perfectionism is closely related to evading failure rather than achieving success. Since perfectionists take outcomes personally, what’s at stake goes beyond the work itself—if a project fails, she perceives herself as a failure as well.
Perfectionists can present in various forms, including:
• The micromanager who insists everything follows his approach
• The “I’ll handle it myself” colleague who redoes your completed tasks
• The overachiever who arrives early, stays late, and sends emails in the dead of night
• The underachiever who procrastinates or shies away from challenges and promotions
• The details fanatic who asks numerous questions and refuses to begin until “everything is perfect”
• The “half-finished project” starter who initiates tasks but never completes them
• The teammate who resists feedback or debates constructive criticism
While it’s easy to feel frustrated by these individuals, take solace in knowing that you can improve your interactions and create a more positive environment for both parties. The secret lies in adjusting your viewpoint on perfectionism.
Here are some strategies:
1. Shift your perspective. Certainly, all-or-nothing thinkers can be frustrating—but envision how overwhelming it must be to be one. It’s understandable to recognize they aim for quality, even if their intensity levels are higher. Take a moment to remain calm yourself.
2. Avoid personalizing their actions. A perfectionist’s actions aren’t directed at you. Even remarks about your work or changes to what you’ve already done are not personal attacks. They simply mirror the perfectionist’s insecurities—so approach your responses thoughtfully without becoming defensive.
3. Engage in communication. Perfectionists often have elevated standards and criteria, whether related to project outcomes or personal conduct. The issue is that these expectations are not always communicated to others. So take the initiative to ask.
You might say: “To ensure we’re aligned, could you clarify what you’re specifically looking for? How can I assist in making this meet your expectations?” You may be surprised by the clarity you receive.
4. Be dependable and consistent. Perfectionists often fear others may not meet their expectations, which amplifies their stress. Therefore, if you fail to respond or complete a task as promised, it likely exacerbates the situation. Fulfill your commitments to help reduce their anxiety.
5. Provide encouragement. Like anyone else, perfectionists seek validation—they just tend to derive their self-worth from their work. So express your gratitude for their efforts and the quality they pursue. They’re likely to appreciate your contributions in return.
But what if you find yourself grappling with perfectionism? Explore a concise guide to managing your inner perfectionist.
