[Article by guest contributor.]
Over a decade ago, I found myself as a single mother to two young children. At that moment, I relied on my husband’s stable corporate income and benefits because I had intentionally shifted my lucrative freelance writing career to one that allowed me to focus on my kids. I mimicked what I thought was the ideal family structure: one parent present at home, making sacrifices, including mothers who were passionate about their self-employed ventures (like me).
After all, being a solopreneur is considered too unpredictable for raising a family, right? And what about health coverage?
Once my divorce was finalized, my well-meaning friends and family intensified those fear-driven inquiries, pressing me on what type of job I was hoping to pursue.
However, I had no desire to find a job. I identified as an entrepreneur, and this new chapter left me without excuses to aim for greatness.
A few years later, I became entirely financially independent from my ex-husband. This was made possible through the revitalization of my writing career, which I transformed into Wealthy Single Mommy—a personal blog that has expanded into a digital marketing platform, now impacting millions annually through books, podcasts, frequent media appearances, and a team of contractors.
My journey as a solopreneur has not only led me to financial success, but it also brings immense joy and fulfillment. My mission revolves around assisting fellow single mothers in attaining financial independence, parenting with confidence and happiness, and fostering equitable co-parenting relationships. The heartfelt messages I receive daily from women affirm that my commitment to the path of solopreneurship was essential for my journey, irrespective of my status as a mother.
Indeed, reflecting on my decade-long journey of being a single mother, I recognize that solopreneurship has played a vital role in my overall success:
> Financialwise, working independently while developing diverse income streams from multiple clients has provided me with greater financial stability than what a single corporate job could ever offer. Moreover, no known corporate roles come close to the earnings I currently enjoy through my business. Believe me: securing health coverage is not a challenge. This consideration is crucial when you bear the sole financial responsibility for your children.
> As a parent, being self-employed allows me to balance my family and professional life, while also demonstrating to my son and daughter the possibilities a career can hold.
Self-employment is understandably a goal for many mothers. One significant factor attracting parents to solopreneurship is the autonomy it provides over our schedules—the most invaluable asset we possess. For a single mom with many obligations and limited time, this autonomy is invaluable.
As I write, I find myself on the porch, laptop in hand, working and earning while intermittently supporting my children with their writing and social studies assignments. In non-pandemic times, being my own boss enables me to effortlessly schedule doctor appointments around my client meetings (or vice versa) and allocate vacation time based on my own decisions, rather than negotiating with a supervisor.
This control brings ease to everyday life. My larger aspiration is that it will influence my children’s future choices regarding careers, business, and their contributions to society. Because I’m passionate about my work and have the authority to dictate my time and responsibilities, I hope my children can intuitively understand that this kind of professional life is not only feasible but is something they should aspire to.
> From a business perspective, being a single mom and a solopreneur allows me to make organizational decisions autonomously, without navigating the complexities of a romantic partnership. I often hear from women who believe that their businesses are hindered by marital dynamics. For instance, if a husband disagrees with the strategy for expanding her business, he may refuse to allocate family funds towards it. Or she may shy away from pursuing her ambitions because it would require tough negotiations or conflicts with her partner. All healthy partnerships involve compromise, but as an independent entrepreneur, I am free from such compromises.
Conversely, single motherhood in entrepreneurship holds me to a higher standard than if I were married, and this has enhanced my business. Without another income to rely on, I must confront the impacts of professional failures and challenges that others in partnerships may not face.
> As a woman, the independence and joys of my professional life have been advantageous in dating, especially while getting to know my boyfriend of four years. Engaging with interesting, accomplished men who are fervent about their lives often leads to mutual attraction toward similarly driven women. My boyfriend Mitch expressed it well:
“Strong, intelligent, and self-sufficient women have an undeniable appeal. Plus, I’m impressed by your business acumen, which makes me proud to be associated with you.”
Being financially independent—despite what your cynical aunt might claim—is a significant advantage in the dating landscape of 2020. I’ve discovered that men value women who can hold their own financially and who are not perceived as seeking financial security from their partners. “Acting as true adults for one another clears away any dependency issues, allowing us to focus on deeper and more meaningful connections,” Mitch adds. Ultimately, don’t we all seek to be loved wholeheartedly for who we genuinely are?
Before I elaborate further on the merits of single-mother solopreneurship, I must acknowledge the immense effort it takes to launch, grow, and scale a business. If you lack a supportive partner but have children, it can seem like a daunting risk to undertake.
Nevertheless, I urge you to evaluate the realities of the present economy. Ask yourself:
Even when I have a salaried position, how stable is it?
Do I find joy in my professional life? Or am I yearning to establish my own path?
What example regarding career, work ethic, and financial success am I setting for my children? Am I conveying one of empowerment and optimism, or one of defeat and remorse?
Release working-mom guilt.
The gender pay gap isn’t merely a result of wealthy white men arbitrarily deciding that women should earn 80% of what their male counterparts do. Young women outnumber men on college campuses today and enter the workforce with comparable pay.
However, women become a minority when they are positioned for middle and senior management roles. Why is that?
Women often step back or significantly reduce their careers to care for their children. This choice frequently stems from a lack of affordable childcare options or the absence of family-friendly workplace policies. Yet, the guilt felt by mothers is influential, and it’s a key contributor to gender inequality. Like I once did, many mothers in the U.S. make choices that prioritize traditional roles based on misconceptions of what benefits their children.
In 2012, 35% of adults believed children were negatively impacted when mothers worked outside the home, according to Pew Research. While opinions are shifting towards a more positive view, 59% of Americans still believe that ideally, one parent should stay home with the kids. I once subscribed to that belief as a married mother, too.
But as it turns out, I was mistaken. Research from Harvard’s Kathleen McGinn, after analyzing 30,000 families across 20 countries, revealed that daughters of working mothers perform better academically and professionally compared to those with stay-at-home mothers. Furthermore, the sons of working mothers achieve similar accomplishments outside the home while also exhibiting greater care for younger and older family members than their peers raised by mothers at home.
In essence, when mothers engage in paid work, gender equality is fostered both at home and within society.
Additionally, as more women enter the workforce, we reshape the next generation’s understanding of what is normal, thereby alleviating working-mom guilt for our daughters. As we achieve professional success, mothers demonstrate to our sons what it means to be a genuinely equal partner in relationships.
In other words, your career is a form of activism. Manage it for optimal influence.
Secure ample childcare without guilt.
Many mothers express feeling overwhelmed as they attempt to juggle launching and nurturing businesses while fulfilling the responsibilities of being an at-home parent. They often feel drained, disorganized, and believe that they are falling short in both roles.
I authorize you to hire as much childcare as you can afford and shift your focus entirely on your business during working hours. Embrace the brief commute (mine was a 10-minute stroll) to the childcare center or school as a chance to unwind and transition into “mommy mode,” dedicating quality time to family, free from guilt and distractions.
While the eye-watering cost of childcare may tempt you to pursue part-time work or commute to save money, view it as a short-term investment laid for a much larger long-term vision.
Launching and nurturing a business inevitably involves risk, including time and opportunities that may not yield a return. If you’re seeking absolute assurance on your time investment, a corporate job is the pathway.
Share parenting responsibilities fairly.
The most apparent childcare provider is one that comes at zero cost: your children’s other parent.
Regrettably, single mothers often bear the bulk of childcare responsibilities, with fathers contributing only during weekend visits. This dynamic not only alienates fathers from their children’s lives but also reinforces outdated gender roles.
Fortunately, there is now a substantial body of research—over 60 peer-reviewed studies—that demonstrate that equally shared parenting arrangements in divorced and separated families yield the best outcomes for children.
Unless faced with extreme circumstances, I encourage you to set aside resentment and fear and collaborate on a balanced co-parenting plan with your children’s father. This not only demonstrates love and forgiveness but also dismantles archaic gender norms and alleviates you from the disproportionate, burdensome responsibility of child-rearing.
Set ambitious goals, and embrace necessary risks to achieve them.
Single mothers often aim low, and I understand the reasoning behind it. The stakes can feel particularly high, as mothers shoulder the bulk of the logistical, emotional, and financial care of their children. Studies show that women generally have a lower comfort level with risk compared to men.
Just as in the stock market, higher risks typically yield greater rewards over time. Similarly, strategic risk-taking in entrepreneurship statistically leads to profit. Just because you journey as an unmarried mother doesn’t imply that you lack the right to reap these rewards. In fact, given that single mothers often have fewer financial resources, I posit that you hold an even greater responsibility to take risks that can lift you and your family up in the face of economic downturns and unforeseen challenges.
Build a solid support network.
The influence of peer pressure—both positive and negative—has been widely documented. Individuals struggling with weight often associate with similarly burdened friends. The same goes for debt, smoking, and divorce.
Therefore, being in the company of motivated, forward-thinking entrepreneurs can significantly enhance your performance through valuable introductions, inspiration, and fresh ideas.
Your closest confidants may be dear lifelong friends or family members, but that doesn’t mean they make for the right support network for your business. Be discerning in choosing whom to share your aspirations with and seek guidance from.
Avoid making excuses.
As a single mother, I invite you to join my mission to normalize nontraditional family structures that don’t conform to the “standard” two-parent, heterosexual marriage. That’s why I’m urging you to be cautious about using your status as a single mom as a reason for challenges you encounter. Instead, focus on the advantages that come with being a single mother in the business world:
• You eliminate the need to invest time and energy in an unfulfilling relationship.
• You have the autonomy to devote time and resources to your business (or anything else) without seeking approval.
• Statistically, you handle less household duties than when married. A compelling body of research shows that married women who are the primary earners tend to overcompensate by taking on excessive home and childcare tasks, while single mothers do the least housework among all female demographics examined. These concerns are behind you now!
In moments of disappointment, resist the urge to dismiss setbacks with thoughts like, “That didn’t work out because I’m a single mom.”
Give back.
Regardless of your business stage, maintain a sense of gratitude and purpose, aiming to improve the world around you. Adopt policies that advocate for working families, meaningful diversity, and the principles that inspired your entrepreneurial journey.
And never lose sight of the fact that on your winding path as a single-mom solopreneur, your value extends beyond just a high income or a profitable exit. It’s also characterized by the legacy you create for your children and the women watching you. It embodies the inspiration you provide—the evolution of your narrative regarding who you are and what you can accomplish as a single mother in the business realm.
