At times, the workday can feel overwhelming for all of us. Yet, there are specific colleagues, bosses, and employees capable of turning your day upside down with their excessively irritating habits. Whether it’s the loud chewing of gum in meetings or publicly undermining you in front of your managers, these bothersome individuals can significantly impact your workplace satisfaction.
A 2015 Harvard study indicated that 80% of employees experience lost productivity due to concerns about a coworker’s behavior and how to respond to it. This underscores the fact that annoying behaviors can indeed lessen productivity. Additionally, a 2022 survey conducted by Quality Logo Products among 1,900 U.S. workers found that 68% of respondents had confronted a coworker regarding their irritating habits.
So, what’s causing all this annoyance? The same survey highlighted the three main annoying behaviors in coworkers: interrupting, taking credit for someone else’s work, and oversharing.
Furthermore, a report from U.S. News lists the top 10 most annoying types of coworkers, such as the Loud Talker, the Political Agitator, and the Brown-Noser, among others. The phenomenon is so widespread that Laura Crandall, an author and management consulting firm founder, penned Working with Humans: Tools You Didn’t Know You Needed for Conversations You Never Expected to Have, aimed at aiding individuals in navigating interactions with bothersome people.
Managing Annoying Colleagues: Insights from Laura Crandall
Here are Laura Crandall’s essential strategies for handling annoying coworkers, ranging from that chatty cubicle-mate to a toxic boss who needs to go.
1. Avoid Generalizations
Let’s refrain from sinking to the level of overly dramatic colleagues and focus on maintaining professionalism.
“It’s accurate that some individuals simply don’t resonate with us. That’s perfectly fine, but the blanket statement, ‘Ugh, Steve is the worst!’ is counterproductive,” explains Crandall. “While there may be aspects where the person bothers you, they’re likely not the worst in every single regard.” Hence, be precise and reserve your complaints for factual assertions.
Why is this crucial? We are all human beings. “By reminding ourselves that a person is more than merely their annoying traits, just as we all are, we gain the flexibility to interact with them as a fellow human—flaws included,” she elucidates.
2. Pinpoint the Source of Your Annoyance
It may feel like Steve from accounting is pushing all your buttons, but is he truly the source of that many irritating behaviors? Laura Crandall advises to specify the issue.
“It’s simple to dissect every action and label it as a problem. But can you articulate your specific annoyances without spiraling into a cascade of complaints?” she challenges. To facilitate this, she suggests jotting down specific instances, such as:
- On Tuesday, Steve interrupted colleagues in three out of four meetings.
- During monthly reviews, Steve criticizes suggestions without offering alternatives.
- In client meetings, Steve fails to gauge the atmosphere and doesn’t know when to stop talking. Last week, this led to a confrontation with a new client, nearly jeopardizing our contract.
- Steve clips his nails during Zoom calls, and he appears to do this at every Friday huddle.
Next, Crandall highlights the importance of spotting patterns in your list. “Do your grievances center around similar types of behavior? At least two of the examples above relate to inadequate communication and decorum in group settings. Identifying these themes helps clarify the annoying behavior and avoids broad generalizations.”
3. Reflect on Your Own Feelings
Now is the time to pose some critical questions to yourself. What exactly about these identified traits irks you so much?
“Perhaps their indifference towards others’ ideas bothers you. By articulating your annoyance thoughtfully and specifically, interactions may become more manageable,” Crandall suggests. For instance, you might engage in this internal dialogue: “Oh, Steve is doing that bothersome thing where he interrupts others, and I don’t appreciate that behavior.”
Once you’ve identified your feelings, Crandall points out that you have two paths: address it or remove yourself from the situation.
If you choose to speak up, she recommends a constructive approach: “Steve, your enthusiasm for the topic is great. Sharing dialogue with others brings respect and curiosity while maintaining that energy. Thank you for your insights, Steve. Jan, it’s your turn.”
4. Differentiate Annoyances from “Jackassery”
In her book, Working with Humans, Crandall encourages us to consider whether someone’s actions are simply annoying or genuinely demeaning, disrespectful, harmful, or abusive. She refers to the latter as “anchored in jackassery.”
“Behaviors that undermine the humanity of others shouldn’t be accepted. While this opens a different dialogue, it’s essential to recognize that while many annoyances can be endured and managed, true jackassery is intolerable,” she asserts.
5. Approach with Kindness
Show kindness to both yourself and the bothersome individual, advises Crandall. You can acknowledge your stress and validate your feelings without painting the other person as a villain in the process.
“It’s perfectly acceptable not to like everybody; having preferences regarding behaviors and traits is natural,” she notes. However, one action you can take is: “The kindness you exhibit, whether that means thoughtfully stepping away from an annoying situation or addressing it, contributes to a more pleasant workplace for everyone.”
