It has taken me several years to fully understand what financial independence means for me. It signifies having sufficient funds to cover my essential needs, including enjoyable activities, a financial cushion for my family’s emergencies, and savings for future endeavors. Most importantly, it signifies my ability to manage my finances—understanding the sources of my money, how I allocate it, how it influences my emotions, and ensuring it serves as a means to create positive transformations in my life and in the world around me.
However, my upbringing led me to believe that money—or, more accurately, the scarcity of it—was in charge of our lives. Although I was raised in an educated household, my parents separated while I was still young, which resulted in my single mother facing financial hardships. The prevailing idea I grew up with was that making money was an incredibly challenging task. Despite having access to music lessons, sports activities, and educational visits to museums or local theaters, the dominant takeaway was clear: we were poor, and there was little we could do to change our situation.
Moreover, there was a notion that financial wealth could resolve all issues. We spent countless hours as a family driving through affluent neighborhoods, gazing at extravagant houses, and visiting malls where we often limited ourselves to window-shopping or searching for discounts. This instilled in us a mindset of scarcity.
I graduated from a state university carrying a debt of $20,000, and my initial salary as a newspaper reporter barely surpassed that amount each year. Although I continued to seek out discounted items and admired Craftsman bungalows during my runs, mortgage calculators consistently informed me that, with my limited income, affording any property—let alone a spacious, beautiful home—would be nearly impossible. I felt trapped in my usual mindset: impoverished.
Upon marrying a journalist with a modest income, we relocated to New York City. Our combined staff and freelance jobs resulted in substantial earnings. I eliminated my student loans, built up savings, and no longer had to worry if the rent check would clear. We purchased a spacious, lovely apartment, having saved a solid 20 percent down. For the first time, I experienced what it felt like to not live in poverty.
After several years of working as a staff member, I transitioned to full-time freelance writing, transforming my relationship with money once again. This time, my income potential was solely dictated by my efforts and the state of the economy, and my financial independence expanded significantly.
But soon, life threw me a curveball. With a toddler to care for and another baby on the way, my husband and I went through a divorce. Suddenly, I was solely responsible for supporting my family.
Fear enveloped me. I was a single mother with limited financial resources, much like my own mother had been. I knew I had to carve out a new path for my family.
I revamped my website and reached out to former and current clients. In no time, I was earning more than I had ever dreamed possible as a writer. Yet, it wasn’t just about having sufficient income; I was also working from home, allowing me to dedicate hours to play, nurse, and cook for my children. I regained control over my schedule and lifestyle.
My journey toward financial empowerment has been an ongoing evolution. Over the last six years, I’ve systematically cleaned out my closets and cupboards, donating items to Goodwill. Partially as a rebellion against my upbringing and my marriage’s emphasis on shopping and accumulating, I cherish owning only a few essential items while investing in durable furniture, clothing, and kitchen tools that last.
In my professional journey, I continue to grow. Three years ago, I launched the blog WealthySingleMommy.com, aimed at assisting other single mothers in achieving financial, romantic, and parenting successes. Through podcasts, videos, and various digital projects, I have shifted my reliance from clients to a direct connection with my audience. For me, financial independence now encompasses more than merely increasing my financial resources; it signifies maximizing my abilities, energy, and time in ways that positively impact my family, well-being, and the broader community.
Below are three narratives of individuals who have discovered financial freedom through unexpected avenues:
Mark and Lauren Greutman
Who: Personal finance specialists; parents of four; Syracuse, N.Y.
Former financial stance: Purchased an extravagant home, faced income loss, and accrued $40,000 in debt.
Current financial approach: They practice frugality within a well-defined budget.
Lauren explains: Nine years ago, both my husband and I were 24 and new parents, earning nearly $100,000 a year when a trip to North Carolina motivated us to move from Syracuse and acquire a custom-built 3,600-square-foot house with zero down payment. We selected each aspect of our home and furnished it entirely with credit cards, boasting an Audi and a Cadillac parked in the driveway.
Two months later, I recognized our grave mistake. I managed our family finances and made nearly all credit card purchases. My direct-sales cosmetics business dried up swiftly while we racked up $40,000 in credit card debt, all while operating at a $1,000 monthly shortfall.
I concealed this reality from my husband initially. When I finally confessed, I feared he would feel hurt or furious. Instead, he embraced me and forgave me, and we vowed to rectify our situation. The following day, I took on a waitressing job at a steakhouse, working six nights weekly.
However, that was just the beginning. A tow truck took away my repossessed Cadillac, and soon after, the IRS sent us a bill for another $17,000.
Mark and I realized we spent about $1,000 monthly on food—mostly dining out. If we reduced our food budget to $200 a month, I could quit my job, relying solely on Mark’s income as an actuary and making do with one car. We eliminated every unnecessary expense, including cable and vacations. In 2009, we sold our home and furniture and moved back to Syracuse into an 800-square-foot townhouse.
In 2009, I started the blog IAmTHATLady.com, dedicated to teaching others about living on a budget. I dedicated all earnings from the blog to debt repayment. Three years later, we are now debt-free.
Since then, income from my digital media venture has surpassed six figures, leading Mark to leave his actuary role and work alongside me. Although we earn significantly more than before, we are committed to managing our expenses to $5,000 per month. We contribute to our church, send our children to private school, save for their college education, and plan for a retirement that will allow us to choose when we want to stop working.
Andrew and Amanda Argue
Who: CPAs, living a nomadic lifestyle
Former financial stance: Overwhelmed newlyweds in Miami.
Current financial situation: They now live abroad, working virtually in fulfilling careers.
Amanda shares: A few years ago, we were engaged and living in Miami, jointly earning $120,000. Our weekends were filled with golfing, road trips, and frequent dining out.
Months before our wedding in 2014, Andrew left his job to pursue entrepreneurship. He had $20,000 saved but faced $55,000 in student loans. There was no income from his business ventures, and I had little experience with debt (my parents covered all my college expenses). I believed everything would work out.
We spent $8,000 on a small destination wedding in early 2014. Shortly after, I discovered we had only $200 in cash and the burden of student loans. It was terrifying.
My job had me feeling overwhelmed, working 90 hours a week. When Andrew came home after listening to a Dave Ramsey podcast discussing budgeting and debt elimination, I was unwilling to entertain the idea. Cutting out enjoyable activities—the few joyful moments in my grueling work life—was unthinkable to me.
Feeling burnt out, I told Andrew of my desire to resign. By then, his business, TheBeanCounter.com, which offers guidance for CPA students, was flourishing, and he was working as an hourly contractor during tax season. I recognized that it was time for me to join him in adopting a strict budget.
We documented every expense meticulously using a spreadsheet. I discovered I had been underpaying credit card minimums, resulting in fees that negatively impacted our credit. Additionally, I realized how much we were spending on items that didn’t genuinely bring us enjoyment.
After 14 months, we eliminated all our debt while building our savings, which now stands at $80,000. Even better, we quit our corporate jobs to pursue our passions—I’m developing a digital business and writing a novel—and are currently living and traveling abroad, staying in Airbnb rentals. We are next heading to Spain, Italy, and Thailand from our current spot in Costa Rica. We no longer have to toil for two decades at a corporation just to earn the chance to enjoy a two-week vacation in Italy; we are doing it now.
This morning, I woke up at 7 a.m., sitting on a patio with a gorgeous mountain view, sipping fresh pineapple juice, all while working at a job I love.
Cari Shane
Who: Age 50; co-founder of a marketing firm based in Washington, D.C.
Former financial situation: Family lived beyond its means due to her husband’s extravagant spending.
Current financial relationship: She adheres to a budget and has creatively secured a stable financial future.
Following my divorce four years ago, I had been a stay-at-home mom for a decade, working occasionally as a freelance writer while residing in a large, expensive suburban home. My husband, a lobbyist in Washington, had a nearly seven-figure income and loved to spend on anything, from baseball cards to luxury vacations and items for our children. I often found myself up late at night trying to decide which bills to settle first. Shopping trips filled me with anxiety, dreading the moment my credit cards would be declined—this happened frequently. We took extravagant vacations but they were overshadowed by the oppressive debt we would have to manage afterward.
This lifestyle clashed with my inherent frugality. I have always preferred to budget my finances and live within my means.
Despite having individual retirement accounts and receiving temporary alimony, we drained our savings during the divorce. Unsure of how to make a living moving forward, I retained ownership of our house in the settlement before subsequently selling it.
With those funds, I purchased a townhouse in a transitioning neighborhood on Capitol Hill. My area, with few hotels, is appealing for visitors, which means many look for accommodations. I bought the property outright, remodeled it, and constructed a two-bedroom apartment in the basement that I rent on Airbnb.
Meanwhile, I pondered my next career steps, considering a potential return to my hard-news roots by applying for entry-level roles at TV stations or newspapers. Eventually, I launched a digital marketing agency, Sasse Agency, with a friend, and it rapidly grew. Thanks to my earnings, investments, and rental income, I can now live comfortably for many years to come.
I have taken charge of my financial situation. In the past five years, I have never entered a store with concern that my credit card would be declined. My grocery shopping is done with a clear understanding of my budget limit. While I do take vacations, it’s limited to once a year, planned carefully, and always in line with my financial means. The fear I felt during my divorce was daunting, but I have found liberation by staying true to my financial principles.
