Matt Beatty failed to recognize his spending habits as a precarious descent towards despair—at least not until it was too late. Eventually, he found himself unable to slumber for more than a couple of hours each night. He remembers lying awake in bed, gazing at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity—his chest constricting and heart racing, overtaken by anxiety and fear. “I would just lie there, mentally cataloging all the purchases I had made over the years that, in hindsight, seemed utterly nonsensical: that fancy car lease, that electronic device, that expensive suit, that watch, that absurdly priced bottle of wine.” (And don’t forget all that gourmet coffee: over $1,000 spent annually, looking back.)
Deeply entrenched in debt and teetering on the brink of crisis, Beatty—though that isn’t his actual name—found his thoughts consumed by finances. “It was suffocating me. To the outside world, I appeared to have it all: a stellar job, a picture-perfect family, and a stunning home. I was the only one who recognized that my life was built on a precarious foundation.”
He himself finds it perplexing. Beatty was—and continues to be—the embodiment of quintessential American achievement. Growing up in a nurturing household, he came from modest beginnings. He dedicated himself to his studies, attended a prestigious university, and seized fortunate opportunities. After a decade of climbing the corporate ladder to increasingly prominent roles, he now holds a lucrative executive position in New York City—making his financial hardships all the more baffling.
Money and Stress in America
Beatty’s experience isn’t isolated. For years, financial concerns have been a primary source of stress for many Americans. Since 2007, the American Psychological Association has conducted an annual survey titled “Stress in America.” The findings from the October 2021 survey indicated that the COVID-19 pandemic has continued to hinder people’s ability to make decisions, including regarding their finances.
Debt plays a significant role in this stress. “For me, it all began with one not-so-ideal job transition,” Beatty reflects. “I accrued debt while failing to cut back on my spending. It snowballed to a point where I felt compelled to keep paying off the debt, unable to chart a course toward stability.” This led to a destructive cycle of stress that affected every aspect of his life, including his marriage.
Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, the author of Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending, describes debt as “one of the most powerful joy robbers.” Dunn notes that debt can infiltrate every area of your life: work, home, personal relationships, and even your future aspirations. Studies indicate that those burdened by high levels of debt-related stress face health risks ranging from gastrointestinal issues and migraines to heart problems.
Yet, the economic recovery we hear about is, ironically, being propped up by debt (and the accompanying stress). According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, nearly two-thirds of our economy is driven by consumer spending, much of which consists of credit card debt. A recent survey by the credit card comparison site CardHub revealed that consumers accrued an astounding $87.3 billion in new credit card debt during 2021, highlighted by a staggering $74.1 billion increase in just the fourth quarter. For perspective, the average credit card debt increase over the past decade has been merely $48.5 billion.
Sustainable or Not?
Those who claim that money is inconsequential are either misguided or financially privileged. Research firmly establishes a connection between money and well-being. Poverty is universally recognized as a significant and harmful source of stress. “Having more money doesn’t inherently lead to greater happiness, but having less money correlates with emotional suffering,” says Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman in a study he co-authored. For millions under financial pressure, the dilemma often lies not in living beneath the poverty line but in habits and practices that are unsustainable economically, socially, environmentally, or spiritually.
Contemporary stress serves, in some respects, as a warning about personal sustainability. For far too many, accumulating wealth and possessions has become a substitute for genuine happiness—thoughtless, automatic, and when we find ourselves in debt, a rapid descent into despair. Constant messages from media, advertising, and popular culture exacerbate the issue. They act as a chorus of negative influencers encouraging us to seek happiness through purchases: You want it! You deserve it!
Our situation becomes even more complicated when societal markers of wealth and prosperity—and the unsustainable consumptive behaviors that accompany them—become the yardstick by which we measure achievement, success, and self-worth. This often causes us to overlook our most essential protective factors during tough times: family, friends, community, purpose, and altruism. Consequently, the pressures of home ownership, automobile purchases, prestigious educational institutions, extravagant weddings, and enviable getaways ensnare people in cycles of debt.
So how much is enough?
One reliable benchmark is an annual income of $75,000. Based on their comprehensive analysis of health and well-being data gathered from nearly 500,000 Americans, Kahneman and his Princeton associate Angus Deaton determined this figure represents the threshold beyond which individuals achieve a comfortable standard of living, where the benefits of financial stability peak and its positive effects diminish considerably. Nevertheless, determining sustainability is fundamentally a personal assessment that incorporates various factors, including hard figures and deeply introspective considerations.
What does your financial history look like? What core beliefs shape your views on money? What attachments do you have? What spending patterns emerge? Journaling may help reveal unhealthy triggers:
- Document every belief you hold about money, no matter how trivial. Delve deep and be expansive. Some examples may include: “Money is always scarce” or “I excel at managing money.”
- Create a timeline on a sheet of paper starting from your birth year to the present. Reflect on significant life events and decisions from your early memories to now, noting the money-related beliefs that likely influenced each decision.
- Identify patterns in your timeline and beliefs, as well as any triggers, reactions, and emotions, including physical sensations (for instance, where you feel stress, like your chest or stomach) when recalling each event.
- Separate your beliefs about money into two categories: those that have positively contributed to your life and those that generate stress and anxiety. Acknowledge any beliefs that may have served dual purposes.
Many of our expenditures stem from wants rather than needs. So before you swipe that credit card, take a moment to reflect on whether the purchase will lead to added stress and disruption later on.
Getting into the Flow
Before deciding to clamp down on your finances, consider this perspective from Ryan Rigoli, co-founder of Soulful Brands, which assists entrepreneurs and leaders in incorporating purpose and meaning into their work: “For many clients, money can become a source of anxiety. It’s all too easy to adopt a scarcity mindset, creating the sensation of being financially limited even when that isn’t the case. I view it through the lens of flow and abundance. There’s a certain grace that comes with the cycle of giving and receiving.” Rigoli encourages his clients to broaden their definitions of abundance, resembling a practice of gratitude and mindfulness. He advises spending more time in the present, appreciating the wealth of good things already present in your life.
Gratitude and mindfulness also play crucial roles in Beatty’s road to recovery. By seeking support from friends and family, he realized many shared his struggles. This social network helped alleviate his feelings of shame. Beatty began seeing a therapist who facilitated his exploration of deeply rooted beliefs and patterns surrounding money that contributed to his difficulties.
He assessed his lifestyle and made some tough choices. In doing so, he often found himself at odds with a culture that equates prestige, power, and privilege with genuine success and value.
And he is at peace with that.
