It’s time to get real about your career and romantic life.
Navigating the myriad of life’s responsibilities can be challenging when it feels like time is never on your side. You might catch yourself saying, “I’m married to my job,” which can signal to those around you that you’ve opted—whether deliberately or inadvertently—to be unavailable for emotional bonds with others. While some derive satisfaction from their occupation akin to what they seek in love, others may overcommit to work to sidestep dating or relationships entirely. The misunderstanding here is the notion that you must decide between your job and your personal life.
At the beginning stages of a career, work can become so important to us that we start to link it with our identity, and it takes on a role as a stable and reassuring constant. This can lead to a belief that it is something you can depend on, providing distraction, fulfillment, and a feeling of achievement. While it certainly poses less risk and can’t break your heart, work does not need to be at odds with personal connections. Achieving success in both domains is feasible without having to compromise your ambitions in either area.
Work doesn’t have to—and shouldn’t—be your defining characteristic.
The expectations of work and relationships often share similar markers of achievement: loyalty, participation, reliability, and sometimes even prioritizing one over the other. Work can encroach upon your life not only by consuming your time but also affecting your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
In today’s hustle culture, this mentality is only amplified. Before long, work can feel like a partner leaving scant room for nurturing relationships. However, lacking balance can take a toll on your mental health as well as your personal connections.
How are mental health and relationships interconnected?
Humans are inherently designed for social interaction, and maintaining healthy social connections can stave off loneliness while aiding the development of healthier habits and positively influencing cognitive wellness.
“Having those social ties can alleviate feelings of loneliness, as well as enhance your memory and cognitive abilities, all while boosting your happiness and overall well-being,” states Dr. Adam Borland.
Focusing solely on your career to find fulfillment in life is harmful—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Research by organizations such as the International Labour Organization and the World Health Organization indicates that exceeding 55 hours of work weekly can adversely affect your health, increasing the risk of conditions such as ischemic heart disease and stroke.
“In our culture, there’s a tendency to wear sleep deprivation as a badge of honor, saying things like, ‘I worked this much on just a few hours of sleep,’” comments Dr. Borland. “We need to shift that kind of thinking.”
Ways to thrive in both your career and personal life.
Here are a few suggestions to help you excel in your career without neglecting meaningful relationships:
1. Balance is key.
The accolades and recognition linked to your job are often more external—think impressive titles, exclusive offices, and executive bonuses. In contrast, the rewards of strong relationships tend to be more intimate and personal. However, the two spheres are interconnected, and it’s easy to fall victim to the “either-or” mentality. That said, it’s natural to need to prioritize one over the other from time to time. It’s wise to perceive both as important, allowing yourself the flexibility to lean more heavily in one direction as needed.
For instance, regardless of how tiring your workday is, make it a point to dedicate time to your personal life. This could be as simple as joining someone for dinner or engaging in a social event, be it a workout class or visiting a new exhibit at a museum. If you’re currently in a relationship, take time to reconnect with your partner and unplug from work together. Friendships also require regular attention. Consider scheduling a lunch with an old friend whom you haven’t caught up with in some time. Small acts like these can have a significant impact.
2. Be deliberate with your time.
If you find yourself “married to your career,” you’ve likely gained notable time management skills. Apply these skills to identify and cultivate your next relationship.
Allocate time for social engagements or dates. These do not have to occur weekly, but breaking the routine of work-home-work is a step in the right direction. Explore the newest local restaurant, attend an art opening with friends, or visit a nearby farmer’s market. At times, you may feel overwhelmed with work obligations and find that delegating certain aspects of your life—including your romantic pursuits—can alleviate some pressure. Consider seeking matchmaking services to assist in connecting with the right partner, relieving the strain of balancing your already hectic schedule.
3. Set relationship-oriented goals.
Establishing goals is essential, but it’s equally important to follow through on them. Reflect on where you envision yourself in five years regarding your career and personal relationships. Formulate actionable objectives and a roadmap to reach them.
In terms of relationships, make your goals specific and actionable. For instance, share your relationship aspirations with close friends for encouragement and accountability; expand your social network through active involvement in your passions; schedule regular check-ins with a trusted friend or coach for support; and so forth.
With these strategies and a shift in perspective, you’ll find that you don’t have to abandon your career to pursue love. Instead, you’ll uncover that achievements in one area of your life can often lead to successes in others.
You might just find fortune in both your career and romance.
